Fear and non-loathing in Wheaton
Jul. 19th, 2004 10:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
murakoziYet another pointless rambling/observation.
It's hard to understand another person's fears, sometimes. I know there are things that scare or bother me that my friends and aquaintances think are trivial. Likewise, I have a hard time understanding why someone I know gets so disturbed about an event or matter that I have no problem with. It's often not easy to see things through other peoples eyes.
I encounter this at the stables a lot. We do escorted group trail rides on Sundays. Up to about 9 folks go out with 2 or 3 guides, and head around the main horse trail in the regional park. Many of the people who go on the rides have little or no experience with horses. Naturally, the horses that require a rider with some experience don't work on Sundays and get turned out first thing. As a side note, that does seem kind of unfair. If you're a twerpy handfull pain in the butt, you get the day off, but if you're easygoing and willing, you have to work. Oh well. Anyway, it's not at all uncommon for someone to get there, be assigned to a horse, and get kind of scared. Most are just nervous, but some are actually frightened. Often, it doesn't really hit them until they're up in the saddle.
Now, I've loved horses for as long as I can remember, and have never been afraid of them, so it took me a long time to be able to even begin to understand the reaction some folks have. They arrive all excited to ride a horse, then are almost terrified of them. I think there are a few factors involved. Part of it is probably the sudden realization that horses are big animals. Just standing by one makes this obvious, and when you're in the saddle, it's driven home. Suddenly your head is 5 or 6 feet further from the ground than it normally is. Then there's the fact that you're straddling a living thing. Cars are bigger and heavier than horses (well, maybe not Yugos, but hey) but they're inanimate objects. Cars also don't test you to see what they can get away with. I don't ever recall driving anywhere and having my car try to pull into a gas station on its own for some fuel. I've sure had a number of horses see if they can get closer to some grass or trees so they can grab a mouthful, though. Finally, I suspect that the fact that horses are rather physical and direct surprises people. While horses are quite good at subtle communications, they still tend to be rather quick and direct when moving or reacting. Swinging 70 or more pounds of neck and head around quickly to look at something can startle a person, especially if they happen to be in the way. Having a horse decide it wants to walk over and follow another while you're trying to get used to being way up in the air on its back can be a surprise, too.
Anyhoo, Don, the guides, and I often end up having to be reassuring and try to keep riders from getting too worked up. Fear can escalate pretty quickly, especially for a kid. It's pretty rare for someone to get so scared that they end up getting back down and not going out on the ride. It's pretty satisfying, too, when someone goes out kind of scared, and having to be reminded to relax and *breathe*, then see them coming back up the hill afterwards, smiling and enjoying themselves. Kinda makes you feel like you've accomplished something. It's even nicer when they end up coming back again.
Kinda makes you feel like you've converted another person to horseydom, and that's a good thing.
It's hard to understand another person's fears, sometimes. I know there are things that scare or bother me that my friends and aquaintances think are trivial. Likewise, I have a hard time understanding why someone I know gets so disturbed about an event or matter that I have no problem with. It's often not easy to see things through other peoples eyes.
I encounter this at the stables a lot. We do escorted group trail rides on Sundays. Up to about 9 folks go out with 2 or 3 guides, and head around the main horse trail in the regional park. Many of the people who go on the rides have little or no experience with horses. Naturally, the horses that require a rider with some experience don't work on Sundays and get turned out first thing. As a side note, that does seem kind of unfair. If you're a twerpy handfull pain in the butt, you get the day off, but if you're easygoing and willing, you have to work. Oh well. Anyway, it's not at all uncommon for someone to get there, be assigned to a horse, and get kind of scared. Most are just nervous, but some are actually frightened. Often, it doesn't really hit them until they're up in the saddle.
Now, I've loved horses for as long as I can remember, and have never been afraid of them, so it took me a long time to be able to even begin to understand the reaction some folks have. They arrive all excited to ride a horse, then are almost terrified of them. I think there are a few factors involved. Part of it is probably the sudden realization that horses are big animals. Just standing by one makes this obvious, and when you're in the saddle, it's driven home. Suddenly your head is 5 or 6 feet further from the ground than it normally is. Then there's the fact that you're straddling a living thing. Cars are bigger and heavier than horses (well, maybe not Yugos, but hey) but they're inanimate objects. Cars also don't test you to see what they can get away with. I don't ever recall driving anywhere and having my car try to pull into a gas station on its own for some fuel. I've sure had a number of horses see if they can get closer to some grass or trees so they can grab a mouthful, though. Finally, I suspect that the fact that horses are rather physical and direct surprises people. While horses are quite good at subtle communications, they still tend to be rather quick and direct when moving or reacting. Swinging 70 or more pounds of neck and head around quickly to look at something can startle a person, especially if they happen to be in the way. Having a horse decide it wants to walk over and follow another while you're trying to get used to being way up in the air on its back can be a surprise, too.
Anyhoo, Don, the guides, and I often end up having to be reassuring and try to keep riders from getting too worked up. Fear can escalate pretty quickly, especially for a kid. It's pretty rare for someone to get so scared that they end up getting back down and not going out on the ride. It's pretty satisfying, too, when someone goes out kind of scared, and having to be reminded to relax and *breathe*, then see them coming back up the hill afterwards, smiling and enjoying themselves. Kinda makes you feel like you've accomplished something. It's even nicer when they end up coming back again.
Kinda makes you feel like you've converted another person to horseydom, and that's a good thing.